I’m very embarrassed to say that I haven’t been to the eye doctor since I was in the 5th grade. Don’t judge. I’ve been busy.

I also have a fear of putting things in my eyes. I don’t do it. I don’t put things in my eye. I get completely grossed out when anyone puts contacts in. I can’t even put drops in my eyes.

One time I had a reaction to some eye makeup remover I was using. My eyes turned red and bloodshot. Jason got me some eye drops to help with the irritation. I refused to use the drops so Jason had to hold me down on the floor and drop them into my eyes. After several minutes, my face was soaked and only a little bit of the drops actually got into my eyes.

This past week, when Jason made his eye appointment to get new contacts, he made me an appointment as well. I was a little apprehensive, but figured I’d read the eye chart and get the hell out of there. When he explained what they would do to my eyes during the appointment I completely freaked out. I’ve been eating carrots by the pound my whole life to avoid this exact situation.

Jason was not going to make this appointment easy on me.  As we pulled out of the drive way he said, "This is the last time you'll see our house....."  As we filled out our paper work he said, "That's for when they shoot the laser in your eye." 

Once in the exam room, I sailed through the eye exam until the doctor attempted to look into my eyes with this long pointy light thing.  I jerked back so fast.  When he tried to look again, I again jerked back.  He decided to hold my eye lid open, holding me in place.  It was literally like the episode of Friends where Rachel goes to the eye doctor and won't let the doctor look at her eyes. 

In the end, all of my worries were for nothing.  The optometrist said my eyes were "perfect."  He told me that I wouldn't need his help until I was in forty. 

So me and my perfect eyes are going to be glasses/contacts free for while.  I should probably go to the dentist next.  The last time I went to the dentist?  Let's see, I got my braces off in 1998.........